Life for rent

How to save a life
Tuesday, October 24, 2006 @ 5:00 PM

with many tears and condolensces, please relocate me @ Http://www.paintkisser.blogspot.com
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No promises
Thursday, October 19, 2006 @ 12:24 AM

"Badly in need of rest and relaxation, freedom from conflict, and the chance to recover. Wants to protect herself against destructive and exhausting influences. Longs for security and freedom from problems. Disappointment and the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals have led to anxiety, and she is distressed by the lack of any close and understanding relationship or adequate appreciation. She attempts to escape from this into a stable and secure environment in which she can relax and feel more contented."

(& there's nothing i think i can do about it all, to change the way i'm feeling right now. i did try to tell you, to bring it across. maybe you just didn't understand.)
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Marry my stalker
Tuesday, October 17, 2006 @ 11:26 PM

(to the song of "Stalker" by Goldfinger)
oh, oh, oh, she's the best that you've got,
oh, oh, oh, she's wise and she's hot!
oh, oh, oh, st nicks will be a star,
if you vota, if you vota,
if you vota lisa!!!!

everyone, vota lisa (or jean) & jacq for head prefect & head monitor respectively! (btw, jacq & chords, get well soon!)

good job to all those running for hp/hm! i especially liked lisa's item (of course), jacq's item (the yellow raincoat one) and jean toad's item (the blue cheer + buttons).

today, the 17th of october, it's a good day! first, let me tell you what's so great about the number 17. on one of my cds, track 17 is the song "good day" by the click five. when you hear/see the number 17, it just pops out at you, telling you that it's a lucky number. it's great also because 17 consists of the number 7. furthermore, 1 + 7 = 8 and in the lunar calculations or whatever, 8 is a lucky number. 17 (Seventeen) is the name of my favourite magazine. the 17th of every month is also a really, really special date, and this is the biggest reason why i love the number 17 :)

election rally today was sucessful & damn fun. i'm glad i didn't screw up the drumming of the vota lisa cheer! then after that was combined class talentime with the sec twos. three dillies were with two dillies doing 'At the beginning' by Richard Marx, and although we didn't win, we had fun :P

the climax of the day was probably jamming with toad, mijie, ally, chia, yuai, loo, abby, jana during recess! it's absolutely fun-tastic!!!!!!!!!!! (this really makes me miss, as in M-I-S-S miss, hollaback jamming & this also makes me miss drum lessons that i put off due to exam break.)

to-do list:

• invitations for nat & char's birthday party
• chinese mock papers 1 & 2
• ld telephone relay system
• ld committee t-shirt designs
• ld camp list by 23rd october

by the way, someone is pissing me off so damn badly. please mind your own business. control your bigmouth and stop spreading false rumours that affect my life. thank you very, very much, ****er.

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Reach for the stars
Sunday, October 15, 2006 @ 1:10 AM

reach for the stars
climb ever mountain higher!

haha, guess i'm feeling really happy after feeling really down. you probably won't understand this. but yeah, sorry jamie & sorry kelly for everything.

JAMIE: to the dearest jamie "mr james perv." and favourite sitting partner ever, sorry for acting as if i didn't care about you or your birthday. just to let you know, i did wanted to celebrate your birthday with you, on the actual day, but i couldn't skip school like you did because i had a performance in the morning, and you had wade robson after that. i guess you were pretty happy after that because of the photo you had with utt and all.

i'm sorry if you thought that i was just so involved with my own love life that i didn't care about you. yeah, i do care about my friends and i'll make it up to you somehow! i figured i wasn't exactly the best listener to your problems (maybe because you don't have problems!) and i wasn't there for you during your birthday, but i hope even though i haven't given you any present yet (i will, don't worry), you shouldt know that a birthday isn't a birthday without wishes (happy birthday jamie!), and that a birthday doesn't always mean presents.

i guess 13 october 2006 was probably the best birthday for you so far because you celebrated your birthday with your dance clique at swissotel and wade robson concert, but yeah, i just wanted to tell you that i appreciate you for being there for me when i needed, and that you're a great listener. thanks for being such a great friend throughout this year. 3 diligence won't be half as fun without you & 'sexual reproduction' around.

you know how much fun i have with you. yeah, i get pissed with you sometimes and you get annoyed with me too, but as fast as the temper comes, it goes and moments later, guess we're laughing away to little lame inside jokes of our own. we can talk about aa batteries and laugh away, you bring loads of fun into school, and i thank you for all that.

so, i guess featuring you in my blog would make you happy! this isn't a mere one paragraph that you complained last time! it's like, the whole post. jamie jessica ng jie mei, be satisfied, honoured and happy! although 13 october is over, once again, i wish you a happy birthday and i hope you did enjoy yourself of 13 october, lucky friday. happy birthday james :)

talking about birthdays, happy birthday to wangling, xinyi & soopong!

KELLY: hey baby, thanks for coming all the way down to talk things out with me. thanks for everything you've done for me. i'm sorry i couldn't control myself and started to cry!!!!!!! haha. but the talk kinda made me feel so much better after that. really, i'm sorry for putting you through so much and i think you just got damn pissed that you didn't eat dinner right? next time, pissed or not, eat your dinner alright. you work magic lah, and yeah the cops kinda freaked me out :< the cops are probably in bed now, so baby, sleep tight & goodnight. sweet dreams dear, i love you <3
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Lips of an angel
Thursday, October 05, 2006 @ 11:46 PM

the past few mornings when school's in the afternoon, i lock myself in my room. i play the same few familiar songs with my cup of almost diabetic coffee next to me, and believe it or not, i think studying is actually quite enjoyable.

i love the rewarding feeling of how you've studied selected chapters and it comes out heavy in the papers. i hope i'll do well this round of end of years exams. if not, both lisatg & i shall be retained, seeing we've screwed up 4 papers already, (+ art & amaths, make that 6.)

i think i might be changing over to lifejournal soon. i like their emocons! hmm i'm feeling emo-high!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hmm but then again, maybe not emo-high. i'm in a emo-spot mood, i can sit and stare and think. in this kind of mood i'm best alone or probably with my baby (talking about her, i miss her. i haven't seen her for 24 hours!), but i definitely can't do without music. have you ever wondered what the world would be like without music?

i'm missing many things. people from the past like last year's chewy kids. i've been thinking about our friendship and i'm wondering when would the time be when we've drifted so far apart that we don't even say hi but walk past each other like we've never known each other? please tell me that won't happen.

i'm also wondering what it would be like next year after graduation. i wonder how red badge's graduation would be like. i wonder how i'll do for 'O's. i wonder what junior college would accept me. i wonder what i will become in the future. i wonder what my life would be like if i wasn't in st. nicks. i wonder if nothing happened and i was still a young, innocent baby of 7 years old. i wonder what its like if i left the world, i wonder how the world carries on. i wonder who will miss me and who wouldn't. i wonder what happens when i'm 21 years. i wonder what it would be like without music. i wonder if all my wishes came true. hmm (you see jules deep in thought.)

haha. no lah, i'm not that emo.

literature paper tomorrow, i haven't started studying yet and now's like 11:46pm. so i'll get up at 8am tomorrow morning and do my best, like i've done so the past two mornings with my cup of coffee. hmm maybe now i know the taste of bitter sweetness.

moley dinner on tuesday after art exam! (but i hope i won't get too tired after the busy preparations done for art the previous day.)

well, my girls in the next room
sometimes i wish she was you
i guess we never really moved on
it’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
it sounds so sweet
coming from the lips of an angel
hearing those words it makes me weak
and i never wanna say goodbye
but girl you make it hard to be faithful
with the lips of an angel

this song's been on replay on my playlist. i think hinder's voice is kinda sexy :P
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Blind
Sunday, October 01, 2006 @ 11:35 PM

Music: Lifehouse - Blind

i was young but i wasn't naive
i watched helpless as she turned around to leave
and still i have the pain i have to carry
a past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

after all this time
i never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but i couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that i loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when i let you go

i would fall asleep
only in hopes of dreaming
that everything would be like it was before
but nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

after all this time
i never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but i couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that i loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when i let you go
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Dawson's creek
Saturday, September 30, 2006 @ 9:08 PM

"i will protect you and take care of you forever."
"what if the world came to an end but because of our perservering spirit, we're the only two that survives?"

watching drama serials with ultimate sweetness and cheesy scenes makes me melt. (everyone goes awwwwww.)
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August in bethany

green man, that song below (the impact of reason by underoath), it's for you. i need a reason to why our friendship is broken, i want so badly to patch it up but i don't know how to. the impact of reason. i'm sorry if i did anything wrong but i just wanted you to know, i miss talking to you, i miss laughing with you, i miss the heart-to-heart talks that we share. the worst of it all, i miss you.

let's see what work i've completed?
NOTHING. NIL. ZERO. fuck.

i'm putting my all in front of you. i don't want to get hurt this time, i'm afraid of what i've to go through, but for you, and with you, i wouldn't mind it all. but sometimes, i care so much for you, and you don't seem to care at all.

guess it hurts me when you do little insignificant things for yourself and not for me. it hurts when you seem not to care at all, and i'm here laying my heart for you.

"with the sounds of the ocean crashing
7:30 friday evening
everything comes tumbling down
i choke back each tear that bleeds"

sometimes, i think i'm losing myself.
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The impact of reason
Friday, September 29, 2006 @ 9:56 PM

prop open the door
i can actually see my breath tonight
but that doesn't mean i'm breathing
crack a smile just for the sake of it
this could take a while
a long while

silence is golden especially in this case

i'm not too sure that i want it to be this way
open mouth closed eyes
no words are escaping
it's all a blur
it's too dark to see
ain't it pretty the way it all streaks together at night
together at night

i think its time to turn around
i really want to go home tonight
i think its time to turn around
i really want to go home tonight

i feel like this is going nowhere
i feel like this is going nowhere
try to think of something quick
and trust the direction of the driver

no lights, no signs
i'm at a loss for words
no lights, no signs
i'm at a loss for words

now conversation sparks
what an easy way to break the ice
now conversation sparks
what an easy way to break the ice
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Another perfect day
Monday, September 25, 2006 @ 11:38 PM

i'm holding on waiting for your call
it's simple but i can't explain this
i'm sinking down i feel like i could die
i'm falling off i don't know why

i still believe it when you say
it's another perfect day
another perfect day

so i might try to leave it all behind
i know tommorow's not so bright now
i'll say goodbye cause nothing good can last
(you wear and figured no where fast)
and today i don't know how too keep it all inside
but i guess i'll let it slide

today i don't know why
i thought that it was real
but i guess it's no big deal

i don't know how
i don't know how
to let it slide
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Reinventing your exit

today was one of the weirdest days ever. i could be so happy one moment, laughing away at mr james, and i could be so annoyed at the other moment, being damn irritated by the same old mr james. but i guess that's what brings life to our friendship, it's the mood swings and all the laughing at "i did sexual reproduction yesterday with the whole (biology) class with miss lim supervising."

another thing i wanted to say was that, i'd like to congratulate myself for having a longest lasting blog ever. when i was doing up the archives, i noticed that thelast-song.blogspot lasted for 3 months! i guess so much has been happening that, in a blink of an eye, 3 months have passed.

quotes vivien, "heaven's not the place that you go when you die, it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive."

on a heavier note, i didn't get to see my cheesy shit today, and i miss her truckloads. please cheer up dear, i love you! don't let bothersome people bother your day, it's not worth the bother :)

on the heaviest note, eoys is in one day (excluding today.)

to all those running the eoys marathon:
we learn to run at speed of light
& to fall down from many heights
it's true but just remember that
what we do is what you just can do

we are the cartoon heroes, oh oh oh
we are the ones who're gonna last forever
we came out of our crazy mind, oh oh oh
& what a town and a feza, baby!

ALL THE BEST.
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Bleed black
Saturday, September 23, 2006 @ 5:53 PM

hello there,
i'm selfish, i'm wrong.
sorry for all the hurt that i've caused you.
so i'll take all the blame for you..
always and forever?

ps: you've caused me hurt too.
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I'd give up forever to touch you

we'll do it all
everything
on our own

we don't need
anything
or anyone

i'm falling, falling, falling, falling.. and you're catching, saving, saving, saving me. really, like a ferris wheel, the moment you're down, the next thing you know, you're up there again.

forget what we're told
before we get too old
show me a garden that's bursting into life

all that i am
all that i ever was
is here in your perfect eyes,
they're all i can see

"there are two stars missing in the sky, but i found them in your eyes."
"you must have farted because you blew me away."
"i'd take your picture to send to santa and tell him what i want for christmas."

i don't know where
confused about how as well
just know that these things
will never change for us at all

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me
and just forget the world?

what if?
what ifs'?
-

jean toad, hang in there. you can pull through all this, i know you can! he's looking down on you, watching you and praying for you. so don't let your friends, family and the most, don't let him down. i know it's hard to concentrate and focus on the end of years exams, but you must try. you can do it dear, i have faith in you. love, the master :)
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Jesus take the wheel
Wednesday, September 20, 2006 @ 10:14 PM

Mr James Pervert (aka jamiej) and i shared this horribly hilarious inside joke. this is how it goes, "i did sexual reproduction yesterday." you'd probably not understand it because it is, after all an inside joke. if you're dying with a burning desire to know this joke, because it is, after all, horribly hilarious, you can ask me or Mr James P (i'm nice not to mention her surname.)

anyway, this is the sweetest shit ever: "my little mango (: thanks fer everything last night. your wrong frequencies make you unique. and one more thing, i think you're a really beautiful person. its not what people say, that gets you through your day. you know yourself the best, you know the untruthfulness of this mess. deep inside, you know whats real. you know what you really feel. you're so much more if you believe, than they make you out to be." :)

you know, sometimes, everything's piled on you, your friends, your studies, your love life etc. and all you're supposed to be is to be feeling so damn stressed and frantic and in my case, panicking because the end of years are in exactly a week's time. but somehow, my sense of urgency's not there and i'm still enjoying life.

and no matter how bad my day have been today, i'm smiling. cheesy shit, smiley smiley smile alright? i love you dear :)
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Superman Kryptonite
Monday, September 18, 2006 @ 9:00 PM

although you've snatched my pride away from me, superheroes don't cry.
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My alien

I am Superman.

Superman says:
do you have to be with you
lie here with me and we'd watch the stars says:
duh i have to be with myself
Superman says:
as in the song haha!!!!
Superman says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Superman says:
so do you have to be with you or not????
Superman says:
hahahahahahahahahahah
lie here with me and we'd watch the stars says:
yes
lie here with me and we'd watch the stars says:
if not with who?

Superman says:
(JABS JABS)
lie here with me and we'd watch the stars says:
LIKE
lie here with me and we'd watch the stars says:
whats hat for ?
lie here with me and we'd watch the stars says:
hahaha
Superman says:
a hat is for wearing on you head, kel
lie here with me and we'd watch the stars says:
TSK
Superman says:
HAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

i love the silly way she is :)
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Chasing cars
Sunday, September 17, 2006 @ 12:20 AM

17 September is a beautiful date :)

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me
and just forget the world?

by the way, it's impossible to diet with kelly portscher (the ultimate cheesy shit/sweet shit wannabe!) around :P

i'd give you my hand
if you'd reach out and grab it
let's walk away from this hell :)

psssssssst, i'm really, really grinning right now. i'm just a kid, and life ain't a nightmare <3
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